07 april 2012

3. Taking Flashy out for Breakfast

Mouseville 3. UBC (Ugly Black Cat) persuades fleshy Flashy to have breakfast with him at Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Scary Mouse, her fiancée, is alarmed by Sweep “Box” Mouse who tells him that a black cat crossed his trail; the very same cat that he saw coaxing Flashy towards the seedy river harbour area. Scary and Box speed to the rescue of Flashy and forcefully open the door of Uncle Tom’s Cabin only to ....... Reader, that is as far as I can go in this trailer. Read for yourself how all of this ends!

UBC – as Ugly Black Cat usually was called – cheerfully let the precious coins jingle that Hank had paid him for the fish. UBC was good in catching fish without getting caught. Hank always was in need of fresh fish for his exclusive Fish & Dish restaurant. UBC did his fishing at night and often in the very Pond itself. At night it was near impossible to see UBC and that made it safe for him to poach the great and protected fish of The Pond. It was all very convenient. The Fish & Dish was situated at the border of The Pond; there was little in the way of transport and loss of time. Hank indeed could say his fish was always fresh, though his manner of procurement was kind of smelly.

UBC happily hummed a song he had picked up at the notorious bar-restaurant-disco The Cats Den. “No pay no lay, honey,” he crooned with his crooked voice, even scaring the crows away. A good breakfast ‘d be more than welcome, he mused, continuing his pleasurable stream of thought. Who says us black cats are too lazy to work? And he jingles the coins again. He spotted Flashy ay the other side of the pond. She has an early morning cleaning job at Hubert’s Cheese Palace.
      “Are you done Flashy?” he called out to her.  “You look great today” he added admiringly. What a piece he thought to himself.
      “It is done, UBC.” she replied reservedly. Indeed, under the Universal Rights (see episode 2) cat and mouse are to leave each other alone. But in practice mice are suspicious of cats, and in particular of UBC.
      “Do you know Flashy, that I truly admire you. Your figure makes my mouth water.”
      “I can’t say the same about you,” Flashy replied tartly.
      “Come over here,” pleaded UBC in his nicest voice. “I have got something to show you. Something you like.
      And Flashy, curious, walked over.
      “Sit down,” urged UBC jingling his coins.
      “Just for a sec,” replied Flashy. “Got to go home for breakfast.”
      “Breakfast, eh,” repeated UBC. “What a coincidence. That is just what I was thinking about. I know a great place for breakfast. Ever been in Uncle Tom’s Cabin?”

There are some things in life that Flashy truly liked. Dining & wining, money, fashion are the things that make her go. This morning she was short of cash and also short of food. Those circumstances really fuel her graving for luxuries.

Flashy, to UBC’s surprise, agreed to be taken out for breakfast and UBC coaxed her along to The Cats Den. As they entered Flashy looked disapprovingly at the sordid barroom. “I don’t think I want to go in here,” she said decidedly and stepped back.
      “Don’t be misled by appearances, miss Flashy,” mewed UBC, “this barroom is just for the common folks. Not for special visitors like you. Uncle Tom,” UBC called out, “is the cabin free?”

      Uncle Tom, the manager and owner of The Cats Den, is a huge Tomcat; still black though with some grey in it. The Den indeed has an exclusive luxury room for what Tom calls his Very Important Thugs (VIT’s). This room is known as Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Here the wealthy low life of Mouseville gathers to forge its nefarious plans, or for entertainment that cannot stand the light of day. The room is soundproof, has a very well stocked bar, an early warning system, a secret exit and whatever you want that money can buy.

      Uncle Tom puts up a big smile. “Have I not seen you before, somewhere, miss Eh....”
      “I am Flashy,” Flashy replied curtly, “and I don’t think we have met.”
      “Not in the flesh, I’d say,” purred Uncle Tom,” But have I not seen you on the telly? Some fashion show perhaps? A video clip?
      “Could be,” replied Flashy seemingly not interested.
      “Must be,” insisted Uncle Tom, “Was it not in that brilliant programme “Upcoming Stars That Shine”!? Not so modest dear Miss! We know that one day, and soon it could be, you’ll be the talk of the town! Let me now show you our brunch special!” and with some pomp stretched out his paw and said “Voila!” as he opened The Cabin’s doors.
Scary Mouse had been looking for Flashy for some time when he was called over by his friend Sweep “Box” Mouse. Sweep works for the Municipal Cleansing Department and his territory is The Park. Outside sweeping hours he fancied boxing, and was a good amateur boxer indeed.
      “Been doing this for donkey’s years, Scary,” he spoke gravely, “and there’s no improvement in it. They go on producing filth. Especially at Hank’s Fish & Dish. There’s always filth and dirt around that place. Fish heads. Fish tails. Fish bones. You name it, anything fishy” he muttered indignantly. “No wonder,” he continued his litany, “that a black cat crossed my trail. Ain’t superstitious,” he repeated, “but a black cat crossed my trail. It was that miserable UBC. And he was chatting with that adorable Flashy of yours. He was showing her something; don’t know what, something shiny and jingling. Coins perhaps. And then they took off. Went somewhere – that way, to the river harbour.”
      Scary paled. “What!” He cried out: “A black cat took off with my girl!” He jumped on his motor bike with Box in the sidecar and roared to the river harbour.
In Uncle Tom’s Cabin Flashy and UBC are now seated at a posh dining table. “What can we serve you with, delightful lady?” inquired Uncle Tom dressed in his fine waiter’s suit.
      “I’d love a cappuccino,” replied Fleshy, “and some French rolls with a platter of cheese.”
      “Pleasure ma’m,” Uncle Tom confirmed and turned to UBC.
      “And what shall it be for you, sir?”
      “Oh, the usual,” replied UBC casually, “but bring me an extra sharp knife and don’t forget the salt and hot pepper. I like it a bit spicy.”
      “As you wish UBC,” grinned Uncle Tom agreeably, “it’ll be here in just a second.”
      And indeed Uncle Tom returned almost immediately. He placed an empty plate in front of UBC, with a very sharp knife at one side; and salt, hot pepper and tooth picks at the other.
      “Where’s your food UBC?” wondered Flashy.
      “It’s coming soon......., very soon,” replied Uncle Tom, “may I now invite you to position yourself nicely on this plate, dear lady.” And pointed to UBC’s empty dish.
      “What for,” cried Flashy indignantly and frightened.
      “It’s only for a short time,” soothed Uncle Tom and bowed over to lift Flashy out of the chair she was sitting in.
      “Don’t you dare!” she screamed, and screaming she did very well. It saved her life. A sound proof door could not stop her voice.
They must be at The Cats Den, shouted Scary and parked right in front of the bar-restaurant-nightclub. They ignored the sign at the entry that said “RING HERE. Right of Catmission reserved.” They burst into the barroom – and saw that all was empty. Out of the loudspeaker came the song “No Money, no Honey.”

      “Are we in the right place? Where could she be?” wondered Scary. And just as his eye fell on the sign that said PRIVATE. KEEP OUT!! he heard a terrible scream, a scream which he immediately knew to be from his fiancée Flashy. “She must be behind that door Box, let us go!” and the friends busted in fiercely.

What they saw was utterly shocking. Uncle Tom was busy lifting the struggling Flashy so as to put her on UBC’s plate. UBC was readying himself for the big feast by running his paw lightly over the knife’s edge and saying “I like it sharp and snappy.” Box jumped on the table and delivered with the speed of lightning a right hook at Uncle Tom’s left eye. Uncle Tom cried out of pain and let go of Flashy. Scary got hold of a tooth pick and pricked it right in UBC’s bum. As UBC jumped up Box delivered a tremendous blow on his nose. “I like it hot,” announced Scary now sprinkling hot pepper over both knocked down cats. Flashy moving towards the door before exiting kicked UBC with her stiletto heeled shoes in a spot where it really hurts. “You ugly cheats,” was all she had to say as she turned her back to the cats that now were sneezing violently and in tears. “It was a pleasure to meet you gentlemen, but now it is time to say goodbye” spoke Scary. “UBC, if I see you ever again with Flashy.......... I’ll show you what a real battering looks like, you ugly thing!

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